You know that South African department store saleswoman that Arabella Weir played in The Fast Show? Well, it wasn’t a character. She’s alive and well, and hawking expensive body-measuring techniques to the world’s greatest popstar.
Yep, this YouTube Gold follows Nicola Roberts on her hunt for the perfect pair of jeans.
Gasp and marvel and literally be amazed as she:
:: Spends £450 on something that could have been done with a tape measure!
:: Confuses 3D rendering with nudity!
:: Uses the phrase “You can see what your bum’s doing”!
:: Goes spectacularly ‘off-message’ at the 07.16 mark!
Also note how, when the camera first joins ‘Cola’ in the department store, it actually looks as though she works there. Just think, but for a Popstars: The Rivals reprieve, that is how it could have been.
Isn’t it odd that they’re recommending jeans and outfits worth hundreds of pounds on a DVD that is aimed squarely at teenage girls?