A Restaurant Review

Fifteen Cornwall
Watergate Bay nr. Newquay

Fans of eating and beaches are in for a treat at Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Cornwall, the latest branch of his ‘paupers are people too’ restaurant chain. Situated above Watergate Bay beach and with HUGE windows, the eatery is ideal for those who enjoy looking at vast swathes of nothingness (ie. the sea) while they dine.

I should point out that I haven’t actually eaten in the restaurant - I’m not made of money - but I have seen the sign and I have also looked up at the windows, so I feel fairly able to give a balanced review.

The sign is a nice sign. Importantly, it is both illuminated AND bright pink, meaning it fits in beautifully with its natural surroundings. It is clearly visible from the road, and indeed, from most vantage points within a two mile radius.

The aforementioned windows are also nice. Like all the best windows, they are clean and massive, making them perfect for seeing through. This is beneficial for lunchtime diners, who get to gaze upon a beach full of sunburnt fatties while tucking into their lobster starter.

Evening diners can watch the sunset and marvel at fishermen camped at the shoreline; fishing long and hard into the night, destroying their marriages with every futile cast of the hook, painfully unaware that supermarkets have been selling fish for a good few years now and that if they do not go home and eat said store-bought fish with their wives, they might as well stay out all night or for the rest of their lives.

The menu at Fifteen Cornwall is slight but varied, with the best dish being (and this is where Oliver’s fat-handed mockney influence becomes apparent) the ‘Wicked Fish Stew’. Yes, the Wicked Fish Stew - Claridge’s, this is not. Then again, that place is full of what can only be described as the worst people in the world, so it’s probably for the best really.

Fifteen is worth a visit for those looking to add an authentic seafood flavour (ie. the smell of rotting seaweed) to their dining experience, and indeed anyone who enjoys eating good food near a beach. You will have to book early because the waiting list is approximately two weeks long, but when you do get seated and eated, you will most probably not be disappointed. Just watch your wallets around the waiters.

40/50

Fifteen Cornwall